Empathy & Influence

from Dan Pedersen

Today, I thought to share something I came across that hit me hard with you all.

It was said by Dan Pedersen.

If you want to influence someone, you’ll probably have to meet them where they are.

You’ll need to empathize. They have to see that you and they aren’t so different—that you’re much more alike than not.

And that you care.

P.S. There is a new video on the Youtube channel.

This is the story of Esther Chukwujeku, Kanekalon's First Beauty Queen. She shares her story on why she became a mental health advocate.

She shared how she doesn’t want teenagers to feel the huge void she felt growing up as a teenager.

The story is beyond the advocacy but a call out that you should start that thing you wish you had or support those who are doing it.

Why I Became A Mental Health Advocate by Kanekalon Beauty Queen-Esther C...


Your perspective is everything!!

Certain times we desire things and we attempt to get those things.  Some people get those things easily whole for others it is a struggle.

It is a different ball game when there is another person to make the decision that will hand it over to you or deprive you of it.

Rejection can come from anyone and anybody however, it is important to see to it that the approach to take when a relationship ends due to verbal abuse is not the same when it comes to applications. When you get rejected for a job, scholarship or any other type of application, understand that you were not rejected but your application or curriculum vitae was rejected. 

My first rejection came many years ago when I was seeking admission into university of Lagos to study medicine. On two different occasion my name didn’t make it to the list. Then I tried applying to the University of Ilorin thinking I was going to get called upon since I passed the post-UTME but nothing came from that sojourn except another rejection.  

There is a point you will get to where you will begin to ask yourself if you are good enough for anything. Please do not go that route. The moment you begin to think this way, you are on a journey to questioning your self esteem. Self esteem is how you see yourself which then influences how you present yourself to others.

Rejections May come from differing people or organisations but see it from the perspective and lens. Understand that you are not rejected but your application was. As earlier opined, the end of a relationship is not the same as rejection therefore, do not feel rejected by your lover when the relationship is brought to a halt. 

Conclusively, the question we must ask ourselves daily is: how do I see myself? When you are able to see yourself clearly, you will be able to tell others about you.

I hope this changes your perspective on rejection and how you see yourself.

Cheers to a new day.

P.S. The picture above is that of my friend Shola aka Sniper Ajix on Twitter. He is a photographer and you know what that means with respect to perspective.

My week in review

New lessons learnt


I’m here this week to give you a run down of how my week went.

It is no competition. I deliberately stated that so you won’t feel bad or elated by the time you read mine.

My week started off with having multiple sessions back to back. I had to reschedule some due to fatigue.

Yes! You must acknowledge when you’re tired and rest. That’s the only way you can be productive and also maintain a good mental health stand.

My weekly Instagram Live show resumed this week as well and we had an interesting conversation which was about women adjusting to work after childbirth. It was explosive.

Did you miss it? Sorry about that.
Yesterday, I released my 35th episode of my podcast titled “Toxic Positivity”.

Listen here : Toxic Positivity

I also uploaded a new video titled : How To Enjoy Breakup/Divorce

I have now moved my Facebook community to Telegram since I have lost access to my Facebook account of over 7 years. This is painful and I must say I am open to receiving help from anyone on how I can recover my my access(details when you reach out via dove.tolu@gmail.com.

The Rising Heroes Community gives me opportunity to share things with you quickly than waiting to send you a mail.

Please join : Rising Heroes

We got more people join us here during the week. Thank you for joining .

Invite your friends and colleagues.

This week holds so much for me as I look forward to a number of things. I hope that this week brings smile to your face and that your strength be renewed.

That you faint not but be resolved to keep pushing

Above all, that you’re not shy to ask for help when you need one.

I value you!!

The Prisons We Put Ourselves In

you need to set yourself free.

It is a beautiful Tuesday here at my desk from where I write this piece to you, my dear friends.

I have been quiet in the past days because I was trying to work on things that I felt I was foot-dragging on.

As I reflected on these things and the timelines I had given myself, I realized I just might have imprisoned myself.

I began to ask myself why I do what I do

Why do I accept invitation to speak even when there is no speaking fee allocation?

Why do I organize webinars yet charged nothing(by the way the Workplace Bullying and harassment webinar was a hit. Recording available for a fee).

Why do I make videos and not charge a dime

Sometimes I feel like I am in a prison I have created for myself.

Only people can create prisons. If you find yourself in one, ask yourself who put you there and why.

It’s mainly us putting ourselves in prisons of doubt, shame, and fear.

You sometimes doubt that no one would buy your product

No one would read your blog posts or newsletter(I feel this way sometimes)

No one would watch your Youtube Videos(I still have a 24hr video on Youtube with no view lol)

No one would listen to your podcast(mine is not pulling the weight I had expected. Should I stop?)

In spite of all these questions that beg for answers, the real deal is you starting.

Don’t be caught in the web of doubts, shame, fear, discouragement etc

Don’t create a prison for yourself.

Do it anyway.

Postscript: My book on snoring is now out on early order basis.

For USD payment: https://flutterwave.com/pay/stopsnoring

For NGN payment: https://flutterwave.com/pay/snoringbook

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Changing Habits

preparing for tomorrow

Hello there,

How are you doing in your part of the world and I hope you have been keeping safe as well?

As I began to prepare for tomorrow’s webinar, I got a nudge to share something with you about changing habits.

Repetitive thoughts and actions build pathways in the brain. And those grooves get greased through further repetition. This is how good habits and bad habits get created.

Create an environment that makes good habits easier and bad habits harder.

Start with eliminating distractions and bad influences.

I hope you find this helpful.


Tomorrow is my webinar on Workplace Bullying and Harassment.

Wish me well and if you can, join in as well.

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