Disorganized Attachment: feels unworthy of love, pursues casual sex and more likely to have a sex addiction
This is my third essay to you on the subject of attachment style and sex life. if you missed any of my previous essays on this, please see Avoidantly Attached and Anxious Attachment. This is the third of all four essays on this topic and I do hope you have found them helpful.
Here is some feedback I got from an ardent reader:
This warmed my heart and I hope it encourages you to keep reading as well as share with others.
Let’s talk about the disorganized attachment style briefly:
People with a disorganized (also referred to as fearful-avoidant) attachment style tend to score high in both anxiety and avoidance. For this reason, the characteristics of disorganized attachment are a blend of the anxious/preoccupied and avoidant/dismissive styles.
Disorganized individuals tend to swing between anxiety- and avoidance-driven behaviors, which creates an overall unstable and unpredictable behavioral pattern.
The same tendency is likely to apply to these individuals’ sexual interactions. For example, they might exhibit extreme passion and love for someone and then shut down their attachment systems during lovemaking, due to fear of intimacy.
Similar to the anxious group, disorganized adults see themselves in a negative light, have low self-esteem, and believe that they are not worthy of love.
They have difficulties trusting and relying on their lovers, and therefore, they often pursue emotion-free, casual sex. Seeking emotionless sex, on the other hand, is linked to a higher likelihood of sex addiction.
If disorganized individuals do enter a relationship, they often end up in passive, submissive, or secondary roles.
When next we meet, we shall look at the Secure Attachment style and it shall be the conclusion of this series
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