When In Shame, Reach Out
it takes courage to reach out
Hello there,
I know it’s been a long time you heard from me and in fact, a month has passed since I wrote you. A lot happened to me that necessitated my going into hiding but I must say I am gradually coming back.
In my last email to you, I talked about the Audacity of Authencity and in that email, I did share with you what comes with being authentic in terms of the challenges and weirdness that comes with it.
Today, I want to share with you what something I titled: When In Shame, Reach Out
One thing I have learned in life is that shame hates to be brought to light (perhaps that is why it is called shame). When you begin to feel ashamed, practice courage and reach out. Own your story and share it with anyone who has earned the right to hear it, someone you can count on to respond with compassion (not pity) and empathy.
We, who are in shame, need compassion, courage, connection, and empathy as soon as we can get them. This is because shame hates it when you reach out to tell your story.
You need to know the symptoms you feel so that when shame sets in, you are able to arrest it quickly. For a number of people, it is a dry mouth and a racing heart (some call this fear or feeling scared). For me, things become slow in my eyes and my heart begins to race.
Be careful not to share your shame story with people who don’t ‘rate’ you. Hence, you shouldn’t wait until the chips are down to know those who care about you. Reach out to people who will connect with you for real even if you really mess up (they will scold but still stand by you).
Say with me: shame has got nothing on me for I shall expose it in the light and get my freedom. I will be careful to share with only those who really care about me and who can tell me the truth yet not leave me to bear it alone.
Congratulations for shaming shame.