The Audacity of Authenticity

Choosing authenticity is not an easy choice

Choosing authenticity is not an easy choice. When we choose to be authentic or true to ourselves, the people around us will struggle to make sense of how ad why we are changing. Your spouse/partner and children might feel fearful and insures about why you’re changing. Even your friends and family may worry about how our authenticity practice any affects them and our relationships with them. Interestingly, some will find inspiration in our new commitment while others may perceive that we’re abandoning too much.
But it’s not the act of authenticity that drives people nuts but the audacity-like what exactly are you doing pal?
Mindfully practicing authenticity during our most soul-searching struggles is how we invite grace, joy and gratitude into our lives. Authenticity demands wholehearted living-you can’t live partially narrated and be authentic because there already is a partition. It can happen at that point when it’s hard, wrestling with the shame and fear of not being good enough and especially when the joy is intense that we’re afraid to let ourselves feel it(but what happens when there’s no joy to feel?).

When I started practicing authenticity mindfully(I use mindfully because I’d always tried to be authentic but not mindfully), it would felt like I was walking in-between cannons ready to be fired at me. I could hear the sound of the shooters in my head sounding like :
What if I think I’m enough but they think otherwise?
What if my friends/family/co-workers like the perfect me better?

There can be shame triggers for a number of us around being perceived as self-focused or self-indulgent. I bet we all don’t want to be seen as selfish or narcissistic while trying to be authentic but sadly, you may not be able to control how they feel or see you.

Maybe we should even look at what Authenticity really means-letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are and making it a daily practice (this definition is courtesy of Brené Brown).
She goes further to share what it means to choose authenticity-

-nurturing the connection and sense of belonging that can only happen when we believe that we are enough
-exercising compassion that comes from knowing that we are all made of strength and struggle
-Setting boundaries and allowing ourselves to be vulnerable while cultivating the courage to be imperfect.

A Research done on authenticity and shame and participants shared their struggle to be authentic:
- don’t make people feel uncomfortable but be honest
- Don’t upset anyone or hurt anyone’s feeling but say what’s on your mind
- Sound informed and educated but not like a know-it-all
- Don’t say anything unpopular or controversial but have the courage to disagree with the crowd.


Let me inform you that Authenticity isn’t always the safe option. Choosing to be real over being liked is all about playing it unsafe sometimes.